{"product_id":"absolute-melt-snowman-funny-christmas-jumper","title":"Absolute Melt Snowman Funny Christmas Jumper","description":"\u003cp\u003eA melt, in British slang, is someone who’s gone a bit soppy or useless. This snowman is both, quite literally. Our Absolute Melt Snowman funny Christmas jumper looks like a postage stamp from somewhere much warmer than the North Pole. A snowman in a Santa hat and dark sunglasses lies on a striped deckchair on a sunny beach, holding a pink cocktail with a little umbrella and slowly dissolving into a puddle. His carrot nose has already dropped off into the slush. Palm trees, pink flowers, a blue sea and a blazing sun fill the scene. ABSOLUTE sits at the top in white letters with an orange edge, and MELT drips down the bottom in icy blue letters. No innuendo Christmas jumper here, just a perfectly judged insult.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe stamp is printed large on the front in bright, full colour, with a thick black outline that shows up on all 11 colours: red, purple, navy, royal blue, charcoal, Irish green, forest green, maroon, sport grey, black and white. It’s ideal for anyone spending Christmas somewhere hot, the mate who cries at every Christmas advert and the family get-together where somebody falls asleep after dinner. As funny Christmas jumpers go, this one has the best tan. It’s one of the hilarious Christmas jumpers that suits the gentle souls as well as the hopeless ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s not one of our rude Christmas jumpers, and it’s only an offensive Christmas jumper if you’re the melt in question. Stack it with our rude Xmas jumpers, offensive Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Christmas jumpers when you need a breather from filth. Like the rest of our range, it supports good causes, with part of our profits going to mental-health charities. Pick your colour, pick your size, add it to the basket and order in good time so the Christmas rush doesn’t leave you in a puddle. Sun-seekers swear it’s one of the funniest Xmas jumpers to pack, and it’s the most chilled of our funny Xmas jumpers and inappropriate Xmas jumpers. Stay frosty out there.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend for comfort and durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with a crew neckline and shape-retaining ribbed collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-needle stitching at key seams for added durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTubular knit construction without side seams for reduced fabric waste and a smooth look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdult sweatshirt with ethically grown US cotton and OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified dyes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry: low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo 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